Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Political Jokes

Some political jokes from Angus Hamilton

Democratic congressmen led by Dennis Kucinich bolted Tuesday and voted against Afghan war funding. The anti-war left could destroy the Obama administration. The TSA has put Jane Fonda on the no-fly list just to make sure she can't get to Kandahar.

President Obama's appearance on ABC's morning talk show The View aired nationwide on Thursday. He loves to do daytime television. Next week he's going on the Jerry Springer Show where old girlfriends from Kenya will accuse him of being a deadbeat dad.

Al Gore was cleared of charges Monday that he sexually assaulted a masseuse in his hotel room. Two other women in two other cities told the same story. Al may not have committed a crime but there's no doubt he has a bad case of Irritable Towel Syndrome.

Sarah Palin said Sunday that Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has cojones President Obama lacks. It's a recent phenomenon. When President Obama went on The View, part of his effort to appeal to female voters was a sex-change operation in the Green Room.

Congresswoman Maxine Waters joined Charlie Rangel in legal jeopardy over House ethics charges Monday. They won't step down and they won't be forced out. Nancy Pelosi promised to drain the swamp, she never promised to expel the alligators.

The TSA was accused of archiving airport body scans after U.S. marshals admitted doing it in Florida. It's political dynamite. The other day the U.S. marshals were comparing Charlie Crist to Jeb Bush and they weren't talking about their records as governor of Florida.

Missouri rejected President Obama's health care requirement that every American must buy health insurance. Voters told pollsters it's a states' rights issue. President Obama is only withdrawing from Iraq because he needs the National Guard troops to escort Americans into health insurance offices and force their enrollment.

A New York judge ruled Tuesday that street vendors need a license to sell novelty President Obama condoms. They're selling like hotcakes. Half the country wants to be protected by the president and the other half wants to be protected from the president.

California's ban on same-sex marriage was overturned by a federal judge in San Francisco Wednesday. Gay activists in Hollywood staged a massive victory march on Santa Monica Boulevard. The sheriffs arrested six hundred men for following too close.

No comments: