Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thursday, September 17, 2009

21 REASONS NOT TO HAVE KIDS

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX. Things I've learned from my children:

A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy, and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

COMMENTS MADE IN THE YEAR 1955

I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $10.00.

Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $1, 000.00 will only buy a used one.

If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. 20 cents a pack is ridiculous.

Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter?

If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.

When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon.

Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.

I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.

I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.

Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.

I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.

It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women have to work to make ends meet.

It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.

I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.

Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government.
The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.

There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.

No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $15.00 a day in the hospital, it's too rich for my blood.

If they think I'll pay 30 cents for a haircut, forget it.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Fines Proposed For Going Without Health Insurance

So (as I have always thought), the President's plan for a government run health care system is falling apart. And because Pelosi and Reid aren't getting their way and loosing their party base on this issue, another representative is proposing making it mandatory to have health insurance the same as it is mandatory to have car insurance in most states. Bullshit.

The idea is to cover everyone regardless of age or health. Sweet. Smokers would be charged higher premiums and a person 60 or older would be charged 5 times more than a 20 year old. Wow.

The proposed bill would be a 10 year $900 billion and it would require hefty fees on insurers, drug companies and others in the health care industry to pay for it. good luck with that.

If this passes, there will be stiff financial penalties. Not that Uncle Sam is taking enough from me as it is and I haven't had any sort of a pay increase in the last 3 years to keep up with the cost of living.

Check these hightlights:
- Penalties would start at $750 a year for individuals and $1,500 a year for a family of four.
- Households making $66,000 a year would be charged the maximum of $3,800 a year and $950 for individuals.
- A tax credit would be offered but even if you work for a company that offers insurance, you still have to sign up and the employer would avoid penalties as well.

As the President, he's got a problem. Mainly because when he ran, he promised and campaigned for universal health care and against making people health insurance a requirement and fining people for not getting it. He proposed mandatory insurance only for children. And this proposed plan doesn't compete with private plans and force them to lower costs.

I'd like to see what happens next. Listen, I'd like insurance too, but not one that is government run. They're around too much as it is. Especially now with all the bailouts and the nice $9 trillion dollar extra in debt his spending and budget bills will be putting us in over the next 10 years.

This President is all about the spotlight, pleasing everyone and is non-confrontational. Now that most of his big plans are starting to go stale, time to get your feet wet and show me some of that change you promised.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Zombie Rock Apparel - Free Shipping In the Month Of September!!!


That's right kiddies,

Zombie Rock is kicking off the month of September by paying for shipping on all our apparel! Stop by our MySpace page at www.myspace.com/zombierockapparel and check out the store. We've got guys t-shirts, girls shirts, baby apparel, dickies and hoodies oh my!

Zombie Rock Apparel is a clothing line dedicated to the concept that zombies and instruments can be one in the same. We are the first horror clothing line to put rock instruments in the hands of zombies. With that said, come buy our shirts with zombies fucking some instruments up right now, and we'll cover your shipping!

What's that you say? We're crazy?

Well, you're right. We are abso-fuckin-lutely crazy! Come check out the site and help spread the Zombie Rock disease!!

Stay Undead,
Zombie Rock

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A Good Person And Former Co-Worker Passed Away


It is with great sorrow that we announce the passing of Kellee Goettelmann, wife of First American Title Employee and our great friend Todd Goettelmann.

Kellee, who also had been employed by First American Title, graduated Heald College MIBC program in July. While pregnant with their second child, Kellee experienced complications due to a heart condition and was hospitalized.

At 30 weeks, she underwent a cesarean section to give birth to their 2lb, 12 oz. son, Jacob on August 6th. Jake appears to be thriving, but remains hospitalized. Kellee developed further complications and was taken in to surgery August 31st, where she passed away.

She leaves behind her loving husband, Todd, 2 year old daughter Abbey and newborn Jake. She was dearly loved by all her Family and many, many friends.

It is with love that we offer our support and funds in relief of this tragedy and we ask that you do the same.

A bank account has been opened with Bank of America for the Goettelmann Family. You may wire funds or make a deposit at any Bank of America. Make checks payable to: Fund for the Goettelmann Family, (email me for the account number. I don't want to post an account number on the net).

Thank you very much from the First American Title Family

I used to work with Kellee at NCS for a couple of years. She was one of the first people I met and hung out with when I first moved to the Sacramento area back in 2004. This is so sad to hear and if you could help them out, that would be awesome. Thank you.