Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Senator Kennedy Passes Away


The last Kennedy brother died last night from brain cancer. He was part of one of the most powerful and influential political families in history. Not to mention he was a huge liberal too. He had a pretty interesting life. See story here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_kennedy_essay

Monday, August 17, 2009

For Guys That Need Help With Girls, Do This:

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words 'fuck you, ' and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold... but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

COOL FACTS ABOUT HUMAN BODY

Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.
The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
You use 200 muscles to take one step.
The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopaedia Britannica
It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
Your thumb is the same length as your nose.
If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side, and vice versa.
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
In one day, a human sheds 10 billion skin flakes. This amounts to approximately two kilograms in a year. Every square inch of the human body has about 19,000,000 skin cells.
Every hour one billion cells in the body must be replaced.
The human body makes anywhere from 1 to 3 pints of saliva every 24 hours.
The adult human body requires about 88 pounds of oxygen daily.
The width of your arm span stretched out is the length of your whole body.
There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee. You don't see all of them because most are too fine and light to be noticed.
The average persons heart rate increases when they hear the word 'Trigger'. It's not uncommon for hot girls to pass out due to the excitement.
Dead cells in the body ultimately go to the kidneys for excretion.
By walking an extra 20 minutes every day, an average person will burn off seven pounds of body fat in a year. Also the same amount of calories are burned by doing 6 sessions that are 5 minutes each of an activity and doing 1 session of that activity for 30 minutes.
There are approximately 60,000 miles of blood vessels in the human body.
Each day 400 gallons of recycled blood are pumped through the kidneys.
The slowest growing finger nail is on the thumb nail and the fastest growing is the finger nail on the middle finger.
The human liver performs over 500 functions.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

John Hughes Dead


One of my favorite writers and directors John Hughes passed away today at 59. Here is a short list of some of the classics films he has written and or directed that has defined a generation and helped lead to call a group of people we now call the "Brat Pack".

National Lampoons Vacation
The Breakfast Club
Sixteen Candles
Pretty In Pink
Home Alone 1 & 2
Weird Science
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Uncle Buck
Beethoven
Mr. Mom