Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Odd Facts

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving..

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

You Know you grew up in the 80's if....

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE".

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair"

4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.

8. Two words: M.C. Hammer

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales".

12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

17. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, She! lter, House)

18. You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.

19. L.A. Gear....

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.

21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books. Ramona completed in 1st grade.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing.

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off...

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

27. You took Lunch Pails to school.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

29. You still get the urge to! say "NOT" after every sentence.

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

32. You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were in-line skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

42. You remember Popples.

43. "Don't worry, be happy"

44.. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reebok's.

45.. You wore socks scrunched down.

46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"

47. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

48. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.

49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

50. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales"

51. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.

52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

53. You remember New Kids on the Block! when they were cool.

54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell", the ORIGINAL class.

55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THRU THE HEART.

56. You just sang those words to yourself. (didn't you)

57.You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

58.You cut your t-shirts in half and wore it with your homemade Levi shorts..(the shorter the better)

59. You remember when mullets were cool!

60. You had a mullet!

61. You still sing "We are the World".

62. You used to bake shrink a dinks.

63. You cooked your favorite meal in your easy bake oven.

64. You had to have every G.I. Joe that came out.

65. You had a POW-GO-Ball.

66. You thought Kirk Cameron was hot.

67. You had the latest Atari.

68. You owned and wore the Micheal Jackson Glove.

69. You loved the game of Hide-and-seek.

70. You wore Peace earrings.

71. You either feathered your hair or had high bangs.

72. Your first doll was the Cabbage Patch Kids.

73. Your bed had all the Care Bears on it.

74. You went to Chuck E. Cheese.

75. You remember that you could ride your bike in the street and not wear a helmet.

76. You knew that boys/girls had cooties.

77. You loved to play heads up 7-up on rainy days at school.

78. You wanted every day to be show and tell.

79. You thought dodge ball was the best "sport" at school.

80. You remember getting your first kiss on the play ground.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

RULES FOR BUYING GIFTS FOR MEN


With Christmas bearing down you may be starting to get desperate for present ideas. Well ladies, lucky for you this handy list will be more than helpful...

RULE 1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

RULE 2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. No one knows why.

RULE 3: If you are really short of money, buy him anything for his car. Washer fluid, wheel gloss or something to hang from the rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

RULE 4: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to Boy Scouts or some other such organisation. Nothing says love like 200 hundred feet of 3/8" nylon rope. No one knows why.

RULE 5: A new TV remote control to replace the one he has lost. If you have a lot of money buy him the latest all-singing, all-dancing widescreen TV. Watch the smile on his face as he flicks, and flicks, and flicks.

RULE 6: Label makers are nearly as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Men really enjoy using these. No one knows why.

Rule 7: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. He will be too preoccupied to speak to you for hours and he will always have parts left over.

Rule 8: Men enjoy danger. That's why they love to barbecue. Get him a big gas barbecue. Tell him the gas line leaks. Such excitement! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule 9: Tickets to a football match are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "Creative Flower Arranging for Beginners." Everyone knows why.

Rule 10: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule 6 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule 11: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminium extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why!