Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I F#$@'n Hate Moving...

I know I am not alone in this one. I really hate moving. I've done it so many times in my life whether its to another state and back or from an old apartment to a new one. I dont mind unpacking, that's the easy part. I just hate packing and moving the crap.
So in this current process I'm doing, I still have about 7 boxes to take to storage and then I have to pack whats left in my vehicle for the long ride to Houston. Oh and my storage is full too so that makes it even better! Besides my buddy Dan helping me last Saturday move the big furnature, it's been all ME. Not to mention pulling my back again and again which wasn't in good shape to begin with.
The positive side to this whole thing is, I got to see my dad and step-mom for the first time in years and I am seeing my best friend and his wife Friday, and I get to have Thanksgiving with my bro, his fiance' and my awesome Mom.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK THESE DRINKS IN A PUB ... (NOT AT HOME)

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS [GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA]
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

WATER
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don't.

WINE - BOTTLED, NOT CASK
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

ALCOPOPS - BACARDI BREEZER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

SPIRITS - CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT
Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually – you're in.

CAPE VELVET
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

SHOTS & SLAMMERS - TEQUILA, VODKA, COWBOYS, AFTERSHOCK ETC.
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait...

SPIRITS - JACKS, BEAM & BUNDY
Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard.
Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they'll think you're a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed!

IF MEN DRINK in a PUB.. (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER
He's old, likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.

WINE
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKEY/JACK DANIELS
He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JIM BEAM
Not as masculine as the whiskey drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

ALCOPOPS - BACARDI BREEZER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

thanks to orsm.net for this one.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My Insane Quest To Create A 0.99 Cent Coin


I invented the 99 cent coin. Have you ever noticed how things cost $7.99? $14.99? $99.99? My coin will eliminate the messy change that only catches the attention of obnoxious beggars who hassle you on the way to your Mercedes.

Then you would probably say, "What about tax?"

Then I would tell you, "You sound just like those fools in the treasury department and you gotta see your dream(s) through. All they can do is laugh at you".

It'll happen, it'll happen...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Almost The Perfect Store

Seriously, you add beer and corn dogs to that sign and I’m probably never leaving.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A New President Has Been Elected And History Has Been Made


Congrats to Senator Barack Obama on being elected the first African-American to serve as President.
As a lifelong Republican, I applaud him on his victory over a good man and great American, Senator John McCain.
I hope Barack can keep us safe as the GOP has done in the days since 9/11, keep our military well supplied, supported and victorious (not with withdrawal). I also hope he catches Osama Bin Ladin as he said he would do. I hope he leads out of the current recession and not further into one. I also hope, most importantly, keeps his promise he has been preaching about change and unity.
This is a HISTORIC moment in American history and in all honesty, didn't think this would come for at least another 20 years or so. And I say that because there is still racial tension in this country and I am glad to see with this election, America has made a significant step in erasing some of those stereotypes.
As Senator McCain said, "...(Obama) has achieved a "great thing" for himself and the country with his historic victory" and "...(McCain) urged his supporters to put aside partisan differences and work to get "the country moving again."
Speaking from outside the Arizona Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix, McCain told his supporters: "It's natural tonight to feel some disappointment. Though we fell short, the failure is mine, not yours." What a great man.
He also mentioned that Governor Sarah Palin was one of the best campaigners he's ever seen. I personally agree and I look forward to her in the future.
Let's get this country going again and get America back to what she's been doing for over 230 plus years....lead the world and kick ass!!!
As stated in the US Constitution, "...all men are created equal..." and today it was proven that we are.

Monday, November 3, 2008