Thursday, October 16, 2008




  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

  • Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost .

  • Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Thanks to Angel at DaddyRose and ArgosTheDog for these awesome facts!!

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