Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Odd Facts

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving..

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

You Know you grew up in the 80's if....

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE".

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair"

4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.

8. Two words: M.C. Hammer

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales".

12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

17. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, She! lter, House)

18. You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.

19. L.A. Gear....

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.

21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books. Ramona completed in 1st grade.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing.

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off...

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

27. You took Lunch Pails to school.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

29. You still get the urge to! say "NOT" after every sentence.

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

32. You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were in-line skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

42. You remember Popples.

43. "Don't worry, be happy"

44.. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reebok's.

45.. You wore socks scrunched down.

46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"

47. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

48. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.

49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

50. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales"

51. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.

52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

53. You remember New Kids on the Block! when they were cool.

54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell", the ORIGINAL class.

55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THRU THE HEART.

56. You just sang those words to yourself. (didn't you)

57.You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

58.You cut your t-shirts in half and wore it with your homemade Levi shorts..(the shorter the better)

59. You remember when mullets were cool!

60. You had a mullet!

61. You still sing "We are the World".

62. You used to bake shrink a dinks.

63. You cooked your favorite meal in your easy bake oven.

64. You had to have every G.I. Joe that came out.

65. You had a POW-GO-Ball.

66. You thought Kirk Cameron was hot.

67. You had the latest Atari.

68. You owned and wore the Micheal Jackson Glove.

69. You loved the game of Hide-and-seek.

70. You wore Peace earrings.

71. You either feathered your hair or had high bangs.

72. Your first doll was the Cabbage Patch Kids.

73. Your bed had all the Care Bears on it.

74. You went to Chuck E. Cheese.

75. You remember that you could ride your bike in the street and not wear a helmet.

76. You knew that boys/girls had cooties.

77. You loved to play heads up 7-up on rainy days at school.

78. You wanted every day to be show and tell.

79. You thought dodge ball was the best "sport" at school.

80. You remember getting your first kiss on the play ground.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


With Christmas bearing down you may be starting to get desperate for present ideas. Well ladies, lucky for you this handy list will be more than helpful...

RULE 1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

RULE 2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. No one knows why.

RULE 3: If you are really short of money, buy him anything for his car. Washer fluid, wheel gloss or something to hang from the rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

RULE 4: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to Boy Scouts or some other such organisation. Nothing says love like 200 hundred feet of 3/8" nylon rope. No one knows why.

RULE 5: A new TV remote control to replace the one he has lost. If you have a lot of money buy him the latest all-singing, all-dancing widescreen TV. Watch the smile on his face as he flicks, and flicks, and flicks.

RULE 6: Label makers are nearly as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Men really enjoy using these. No one knows why.

Rule 7: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. He will be too preoccupied to speak to you for hours and he will always have parts left over.

Rule 8: Men enjoy danger. That's why they love to barbecue. Get him a big gas barbecue. Tell him the gas line leaks. Such excitement! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule 9: Tickets to a football match are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "Creative Flower Arranging for Beginners." Everyone knows why.

Rule 10: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule 6 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule 11: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminium extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I F#$@'n Hate Moving...

I know I am not alone in this one. I really hate moving. I've done it so many times in my life whether its to another state and back or from an old apartment to a new one. I dont mind unpacking, that's the easy part. I just hate packing and moving the crap.
So in this current process I'm doing, I still have about 7 boxes to take to storage and then I have to pack whats left in my vehicle for the long ride to Houston. Oh and my storage is full too so that makes it even better! Besides my buddy Dan helping me last Saturday move the big furnature, it's been all ME. Not to mention pulling my back again and again which wasn't in good shape to begin with.
The positive side to this whole thing is, I got to see my dad and step-mom for the first time in years and I am seeing my best friend and his wife Friday, and I get to have Thanksgiving with my bro, his fiance' and my awesome Mom.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:


Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don't.

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually – you're in.

Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait...

Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard.
Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they'll think you're a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed!

IF MEN DRINK in a PUB.. (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

He's old, likes good beer and wants to get laid.

The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.

He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Not as masculine as the whiskey drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

thanks to for this one.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My Insane Quest To Create A 0.99 Cent Coin

I invented the 99 cent coin. Have you ever noticed how things cost $7.99? $14.99? $99.99? My coin will eliminate the messy change that only catches the attention of obnoxious beggars who hassle you on the way to your Mercedes.

Then you would probably say, "What about tax?"

Then I would tell you, "You sound just like those fools in the treasury department and you gotta see your dream(s) through. All they can do is laugh at you".

It'll happen, it'll happen...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Almost The Perfect Store

Seriously, you add beer and corn dogs to that sign and I’m probably never leaving.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A New President Has Been Elected And History Has Been Made

Congrats to Senator Barack Obama on being elected the first African-American to serve as President.
As a lifelong Republican, I applaud him on his victory over a good man and great American, Senator John McCain.
I hope Barack can keep us safe as the GOP has done in the days since 9/11, keep our military well supplied, supported and victorious (not with withdrawal). I also hope he catches Osama Bin Ladin as he said he would do. I hope he leads out of the current recession and not further into one. I also hope, most importantly, keeps his promise he has been preaching about change and unity.
This is a HISTORIC moment in American history and in all honesty, didn't think this would come for at least another 20 years or so. And I say that because there is still racial tension in this country and I am glad to see with this election, America has made a significant step in erasing some of those stereotypes.
As Senator McCain said, "...(Obama) has achieved a "great thing" for himself and the country with his historic victory" and "...(McCain) urged his supporters to put aside partisan differences and work to get "the country moving again."
Speaking from outside the Arizona Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix, McCain told his supporters: "It's natural tonight to feel some disappointment. Though we fell short, the failure is mine, not yours." What a great man.
He also mentioned that Governor Sarah Palin was one of the best campaigners he's ever seen. I personally agree and I look forward to her in the future.
Let's get this country going again and get America back to what she's been doing for over 230 plus years....lead the world and kick ass!!!
As stated in the US Constitution, "...all men are created equal..." and today it was proven that we are.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008


10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6. It's OK when the person you're with fantasises you're someone else, because you are.
5. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.

AND the No. 1 reason why trick or treating is better than sex - YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12 You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a shit.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a fucking people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door..........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
45. If you have something to say raise your hand... then place it over your mouth.
46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
47. Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
50. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Great Video I Customized....You Can Too

I'm a Republican, but I thought this customized video that you can have done on which is paid for by the liberal is great. I hope this really does happen. Enjoy, I did!!

Monday, October 20, 2008


CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER: What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT: An archaic word no longer in use.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Beyonce, Quit Stealing Other People's Material!

It's been reported many many times in the past that Beyonce and her team of mangers are creatively challenged, so they often resort to stealing material and ideas from others who came before them or from new singers and songwriters who have no power to stop them. Oh hey have you heard her new song, "If I Were A Boy"?

Fox News says...
The story behind "If I Were a Boy" is absolutely scandalous … the young woman who wrote the melody and lyrics had no idea Beyonce had even recorded her song until a stranger called with the news. By then, it was too late. BC Jean is a hot, up-and-coming, 21-year-old female singer songwriter from San Diego. Those who’ve met her says she’s smart and "gorgeous" (but) she and her manager/mother have been strong-armed by Beyonce’s people and others who saw gold in "If I Were a Boy" and didn’t care how they got it. BC Jean wrote and recorded about a dozen songs with German pop-factory producer Toby Gad for an album … when the deal fell apart, Gad took the songs and started marketing them to big name, established artists. When I wrote about Beyonce’s version of "If I Were a Boy" last week … plenty of people knew the saga of Beyonce’s manager/father Mathew Knowles’ aggressive pursuit of the publishing rights to the potential hit record. His goal was to get the rights to the song and to put Beyonce’s name on the writing credits.

And from

I don't get why the law is so helpless in situations like this. Beyonce raped this girl and is gonna get away with it because she's rich. Not literally of course. I shouldn't have said "rape". People throw that word around too loosely, IMO. Especially the prosecutors in my case. Why can't we call it, "an unrequited love affair". See? Doesn't that sound better?

Funny Thing About "Joe The Plumber"...

Real Name isn't Joe. It's Samuel J. Wurzelbacher

He doesn't own his own plumbing business, but works for one. But technically cannot be called one because the state of Ohio requires them to have a license and neither does "Joe" or his employer have one. Can't you get arrested for working without a license? Here in California you can and they do.

And Obama was quoted as saying he wants "Joe" to "...spread the wealth...". So that means, Obama wants to take more of your/my hard earned money and give it to others. First of all, I want more money in pocket and why should I spread the wealth around, when my tax dollars already doesn't go to half the crap I/we vote on in the first place?? I'm a victim of the current economic crisis right now and I could use all I can get.

And another thing, how can this guy be talking and worrying about how much he's going to be taxed, when in his life, he's had 2 tax liens against him and the most recent one is still outstanding for over $1,100. That means he still hasnt taken care of his 2007 taxes. Nice.

Gotta love how most of the media is left-winged and everyone is getting so ga-ga over this story.

  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

  • Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost .

  • Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Thanks to Angel at DaddyRose and ArgosTheDog for these awesome facts!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The New Face Of My P.E.T.A. Campain

Yup....People Eating Tasty Animals

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

You know you're trailer trash when....

1) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than you do.
2) You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.
3) You've been married 3 times & still have the same in-laws.
4) You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
5) You wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
6) You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines".
7) You lit a match in the bathroom & your house exploded right off its wheels.
8) Your front porch collapses & kills more than 5 dogs.
9) You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
10) You need 1 more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House-O-Tattoos.
11) You use toilet paper as your tampons.


When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.

Sex, like business, is better with multiple partners.

I want to start a college course called Couch 101. It'll be a class that anybody can sit in on.

Friday, October 10, 2008


What was Frankenstein's first name? Contrary to popular notion, Mary Shelley's monster was nameless. Frankenstein was the creator-doctor. His first name was Victor.

Thomas Edison was a judge at the first "Miss America" beauty contest in 1880.

In 1940, accountants discovered the financial records of Benjamin Franklin at the archives of Philadelphia's Bank of America. According to their findings, Franklin, who was "the master of thrift", was overdrawn on his account at least three times each week.

Which state was the 39th to be admitted into the Union? No one knows. North and South Dakota, the 39th and 40th states, were admitted on the same day. President Benjamin Harrison never revealed which of the two proclamations he signed first.

The word "kangaroo" means "I don't know" in the language of Australian aborigines. When Captain Cook approached natives of the Endeavor River tribe to ask what the strange animal was, he got "kangaroo" for an answer.

The Harlem Globetrotters never played in Harlem until 1968 -- forty years after the team came together.

Adolf Hitler owned nine thousand acres of land in Colorado. When it was discovered in 1942 that Hitler had inherited title to the land from relatives in Germany, it was being used by ranchers as grazing land.

The five interlocking Olympic Rings are coloured black, blue, red, white, and yellow because at least one of those colours appears in every national flag in the world.

Check Back For More Soon!!!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Hey Hasselhoff!!

I'm not trying to "hassell the hoff", but seriously, You Smell Like Whiskey And Cheeseburgers!!And you never called me and my friends back.


What is a "Joe Six-Pack"?

Sarah Palin has referred to putting "...government back on the side of the people of Joe Six-Pack like me..." A "Joe Six-Pack" would probably wear a shirt with a blue collar and lives someplace on Main Street, or at least sometimes goes to Main Street, perhaps to pick up a six-pack.

We (Joes) will likely drink that six-pack at our kitchen table, where, if I was married, myself and my wife, the "Soccer Mom", would talk about how it feels to personify Middle America and how Washington insiders are out of touch. And they are.

Fact is, "Joe Six-Pack" knows a lot of so-called blue-collar types that politicians aim for: plumbers, electricians, truck drivers, farmers, and probably the guy who owns the local car repair shop. "Joe Six-Pack" is the one the politicians seem to like best. It can be said that we are heckuva nice guy(s) too. We drink, but we never drink and drive. When we do drive, "Joe" would be the last person to tailgate or cut anybody off in traffic. "Joe Six-Pack" just Wants What is Best for America.

Another fact is that the average Joe and blue-collar types generally are the life blood of America. We aren't rich and we're not poor. We are right in the middle and because of that we get screwed on a lot of assistance programs or health benefits that would help ease the burden from month to month and rarely do they help us when we do need it.

I just want to mention I am getting a little bored with the statements that, especially, the Liberals have been using such as "...problems on Main Street". They want to help "Main Street". Most Washington insiders and politicians are so far out of touch with mainstream America and play party politics, that they don't even know what people like you or I even want anymore, non the less on Main Street. Hell, over half of the policticians in both houses are "rich" and are family legacies and don't remember what it's like to struggle from paycheck to paycheck. The only reason why they say they "understand what we're going through", is probably because they took an $80,000 or so hit on their stock portfolio recently when the Dow Jones dropped 777 points in one day. Oh boo-hoo.

I read an article online from a person named Robert Paul Reyes from and he said in his arcle that a "Joe Six-Pack" quote "...lives in a trailor park..." and "Sarah Palin is not vice-presidential or Joe Six Pack material, she's a moose-killing hockey mom who is out of her element".

He also went on to say "Even if Palin resembled a Joe Six-Pack, that's not necessarily a good thing. I don't want a freakin' Joe-Six Pack negotiating nuclear arm treaties with Russia. I want a Harvard educated statesman with years of community and pubic service in the White House. I don't want a president I would feel comfortable drinking a beer with; I have plenty of slacker friends that I enjoy going to the pub with".

For anyone who really knows me, they know that I follow history and politics. Listen, me personally and as a conservative, this is a nice change of pace. That "moose-killing hockey mom", is closest thing that either party has had to represent and connect with the average person is years and if you watched the V.P. Debate last Thursday night, she made excellent points that all of us needed and wanted to hear. It's not like Hilary for instance who has to "ride the coat tails of her husband" to get to where she is at. She'd be nothing if her husband wasn't the president at one time.

The "Joe Six-Packs" of the this great country are the ones who break our backs everyday, struggle to make ends meat, live (like me sometimes less than), paycheck to paycheck and are the ones that the military calls on to defend herself.

So with that being said, "I AM A JOE SIX-PACK" AND PROUD OF IT.

Friday, October 3, 2008


Please check back for more as I post some in the future. We will start with these for now. Enjoy!!

  • You can't create a folder called 'con' in Microsoft Windows.
  • All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
  • The smallest human penis ever recorded was just 5/8 of an inch long.
  • Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.
  • About 1 in 30 people in the U.S. are in jail, on probation, or on parole.
  • Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.
  • The creator of the NIKE Swoosh symbol was paid only $35 for the design.
  • Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.
  • The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
  • An average persons hand does 56% of the typing.
  • The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second.
  • Some Malaysians protect their babies from disease by bathing them in beer.
  • The only two animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.
  • Mexico City is sinking at a rate of 18 inches per year!
  • Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.
  • An octopus' testicles are located in its head.
  • Oenophobia is the Fear of wines.
  • The average person spends three years of his or her life on a toilet.
  • Welcome To Trigger readers are better looking, have larger penises and nicer boobs.
Some of these intersting facts were found online as well as


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

PURE ENTERTAINMENT #1 Place For Nightlife In Sacramento

"No B.S. Just Pure Entertainment"

PURE entertainment is an executive promoting company based out of Sacramento, Ca (Northern California). Their business is to DO business by providing emmense traffic flow to venues and/or resturants using their expert promotional services.

Pure Entertainment is known for their great organizational skills, the ability to construct premire parties (both public and private), club parties, special events, and special networking skills. And don't forget about the professional style pictures!

Since their inception in early 2007 by the one and only Philip Isidro, they have promoted at venues in the greater Sacramento area such as Barcode Ultra Lounge, Paradise Junction, The Station Ultra Lounge, Zokku, Azukar, Avalon, Tokyo Fro's Sushi Bar, Dragonfly, Club 21, and Zinfadel Grille.
PURE Entertainment has also in partnered in great causes such as the "I Am Filam" and Breast Cancer walks.

I have personally known Philip Isidro for a few years now and even worked with him on some of his promotions and with his knack for promoting, the drive he posses to be the best, along with the passion he puts behind each one of his events, why wouldn't you go with him and PURE Entertainment? The choice is clear.
If you are interested in using or joining PURE Entertainment, please feel free to contact them at

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Tim Neighbors is "Mr. Talented"

What can you say about Tim Neighbors? I could say a lot. Such as:

  • Good Friend

  • Great Singing Voice

  • Creative

  • Smart

  • He Whistled At My Mom Once

  • Cheap Date

  • Party Animal

  • Disease Free
But in all seriousness, I have known Tim for over 10 years (since high school). Tim is a very creative, smart and has a gift. The gift of music. I like to say he has "honey in his voice". He currently is the front man for two, yes two bands in the L.A. area. I have personally heard both the bands live and let me tell you, they ROCK!!!! I personally recommend you check out their websites (shown below), check out some samples and catch a show.

Along with being the front man for two bands, he also did a documentary called "Enter The Cage", has worked at the Oscars the last several years, been in the recording and sound studios editing and creating, and worked as an extra on a couple of low to mid budget movies.


Zombie Rock is it!!!

The owner, Charles Eck of Los Angeles, has an awesome company and knows his stuff. Charles puts 100% style and character into each design. He has actual people model for these pieces of art.Zombie Rock Apparel, combining the gore-tastic, flesh-eating, dead-walking ways of the zombie uprising with the relentless destruction of musical instruments!

Want a t-shirt? Buy 'em at! How 'bout a hoodie? Yeah, they got 'em! All apparel can be purchased through paypal securely and safely. Okay, ya might get a blood splat or two on the shirts, but stains build character, so deal with it scumdogs! Look forward to more freakish designs and the Zombie Rock official website coming soon.

I personally own some Zombie Rock Apperal and would recommend it to anyone. You can catch them everyear at Fangoria.

All Zombie Rock Artwork courtesy of Alex Kozlowski.